Tip #107 Your Self-image & the Little Darlings

Many horse folks really beat themselves up and they are merciless with themselves.  I receive bunches of emails and letters stating how they love horses and yet can't train their horses or ride the darlings. 

The majority of people that  come here actually have the fear thing but they keep it a secret.  Often they don't mention it until later on the first day once they get comfortable with us.  Some never even say it out loud until the very last ride of the last day.  People don't want to talk about it because they are so embarrassed about it.

 The person has no confidence in himself and calls himself a loser, a fool, an old fool,  a gutless wonder, stupid, worthless, spineless - you just can't believe the adjectives they use on themselves.  I think it is really sad that something, ie the little darlings, that is supposed to give you so much happiness, instead ends up giving you sorrow and negativity.

Your self image is incredibly important.   Just because you are terrified of riding your horse does not mean you are a worthless fool and shouldn't be fit to live.  Honest, that is really true - get that into your noggin.  It is not a character flaw.

It simply is what it is.  Period.  End of statement.  You don't even have to know why or what it is you are so afraid. of.  It just is.  It is okay to be afraid.  Being terrified of riding though you love your horse does not mean you are bad or immoral person.

You have no idea how many horse folks are out there that are scared to death of the animal that they love so much.  I would not be surprised if there were more folks out there that are scared than are not.  I don't know but it wouldn't surprise me one iota.

The fear thing is a bitch - an absolute bitch.  I know about it.  It can immobilize you.  I've been there.  And, once you get it, you will never get rid of it - it is in the very core of your  being.  Very famous Olympic snow boarder and X games winner Shawn White is struggling over fear and confidence big time - like this entire summer and he has to perform in Sochi.  He was so afraid that he almost didn't even make it to the trials as a finalist...  It has just about brought him to his knees like it brings you to your knees and it has brought me to my knees..

You simply learn how to handle it - sometimes you handle it quite well and other times you do a lousy job of it and just let that fear get the better of you.   You know what though - you are just fine and your little darling is just fine and you are both incredibly lucky to have each other.  And, you will get through this - it is simply going to take as long as it takes because, really, except in your little noggin, there is no big rush.  Is there ?

Adventure Horse Riding in NYS            Smilla13@gmail.com  (Mary Dixon)         www.RideNYS.com

#44 Perfection

#44   Perfection

In the horse world, the word
 "perfection" is a favorite.  Baloney !!! 

  Perfection will drive you and your darling absolutely crazy.

When you and/or your horse are learning something new or different, you sure as heck are not going to be  perfect -  you guys are  going to be ugly.    So what?

  That is part of the learning process.

If you are scared, or your darling is scared,  forget perfection - the both of you just want to get the deed done without dying or injury.

 .  Eventually, both of you will settle down and you guys won't look like such a mess.

I have thousands of hours under my chubby little butt, but boy, there are days or hours or minutes that I look like I have never, ever been on a horse or my horse looks like he has never, ever had a rider on him.  I have "no seat" as they say.  That's just life in the fast lane, what can I say?

  It doesn't mean you can't ride - you just are crummy then.

  Oh well.  It's not the end of the world.  It'll come back.  Honestly.

So, you DO NOT need PERFECTION when riding - if one did, wars would not have been won with horses, the country would not have been settled, the cows would not have been herded, and there would be no one riding.

Mary Dixon        Adventure Horse Riding in NYS    RideNYS.com

Tip #34 The Art of Falling - is there such a thing ? Actually, yes!

The Art of Falling - Is there such a thing ?

 This  is a synopsis of  "How to Prevent Falls" by Betty Carpenter.  Falls and fear pretty much go hand 'n' hand.  You aren't sure what to do when your body is falling into space and you freeze up because of the terror of the landing & that fear is worse especially after a fall - it seems to be somehting that we have a pretty difficult time getting over with.  I've been there and I know that many of you have too.

Some things she suggests to practice:

• Lay down in bed and stretch - this promotes balance, bending, flexibility, reaching
• In bed, shake and wiggle your limbs and fingers and toes, arch your back a bit
• Tense and tighten your body then do this over again
• Reach for the ceiling & move your arms and legs around
• Turn your head around - up, down, left, right 

• Flop down into a chair - don't use the armrest or anything - this might take some practice
• Get out of the chair without using anything to push yourself up. Use just your legs to get up

• Stand along side your bed - frontwards, then backwards, and just let your body flop onto the bed like when you were a little kid
• Practice rolling around

• If you fall, do not try to break your fall with your arms or brace yourself - something will  probably break.  These exercises are supposed to help your body prevent itelf from the bracing because you have trained your muscles to be loose and flexible.  So, you need to practice practice, practice.  They aren't hard.  One or two times doing the exercises won't help you even a little bit.  Put some effort into this.

These easy little exercises help  your body to develop muscle memory and stay relaxed instead of tense.  It's the tense and rigidity that hurt the most when you land. 


The exercises were developed for seniors who have relatively constant crashes and injuries as a result.  The older we get, the less pliable we are simply because we don't do any of the above.

Her book is good.  Check it out.

Mary Dixon    Adventure Horse Riding in NYS     RideNYS.com