Tip #107 Your Self-image & the Little Darlings

Many horse folks really beat themselves up and they are merciless with themselves.  I receive bunches of emails and letters stating how they love horses and yet can't train their horses or ride the darlings. 

The majority of people that  come here actually have the fear thing but they keep it a secret.  Often they don't mention it until later on the first day once they get comfortable with us.  Some never even say it out loud until the very last ride of the last day.  People don't want to talk about it because they are so embarrassed about it.

 The person has no confidence in himself and calls himself a loser, a fool, an old fool,  a gutless wonder, stupid, worthless, spineless - you just can't believe the adjectives they use on themselves.  I think it is really sad that something, ie the little darlings, that is supposed to give you so much happiness, instead ends up giving you sorrow and negativity.

Your self image is incredibly important.   Just because you are terrified of riding your horse does not mean you are a worthless fool and shouldn't be fit to live.  Honest, that is really true - get that into your noggin.  It is not a character flaw.

It simply is what it is.  Period.  End of statement.  You don't even have to know why or what it is you are so afraid. of.  It just is.  It is okay to be afraid.  Being terrified of riding though you love your horse does not mean you are bad or immoral person.

You have no idea how many horse folks are out there that are scared to death of the animal that they love so much.  I would not be surprised if there were more folks out there that are scared than are not.  I don't know but it wouldn't surprise me one iota.

The fear thing is a bitch - an absolute bitch.  I know about it.  It can immobilize you.  I've been there.  And, once you get it, you will never get rid of it - it is in the very core of your  being.  Very famous Olympic snow boarder and X games winner Shawn White is struggling over fear and confidence big time - like this entire summer and he has to perform in Sochi.  He was so afraid that he almost didn't even make it to the trials as a finalist...  It has just about brought him to his knees like it brings you to your knees and it has brought me to my knees..

You simply learn how to handle it - sometimes you handle it quite well and other times you do a lousy job of it and just let that fear get the better of you.   You know what though - you are just fine and your little darling is just fine and you are both incredibly lucky to have each other.  And, you will get through this - it is simply going to take as long as it takes because, really, except in your little noggin, there is no big rush.  Is there ?

Adventure Horse Riding in NYS            Smilla13@gmail.com  (Mary Dixon)         www.RideNYS.com

1 comment:

  1. The most important I learned from Mary and Rich was that it was OK to be afraid. I loved horses—but I was afraid to ride. I said it out loud. And it was OK to admit I was tired. We quit early one day because I was so tired. I guess you could say I learned to tell the truth!